When my ex-husband told our kids he was getting remarried, it prompted my practical jokester son to suggest to my ex that I officiate his wedding to his fiancee. Naturally, my ex and his fiancee declined on his offer, but it did bring to the forefront that I am indeed an ordained minister who can legally marry couples in NJ and any state in the US. It's a little secret I've kept to myself since Aug. 3, 2001. I have never officiated anyone's marriage, but I like the idea that I can and I know that I would do a bangup job if given the opportunity.
Back in 2001, the year my own father died, I was struggling to understand my own spirituality. I was raised in a strict Roman Catholic upbringing. My husband wasn't Catholic and although we married in the Catholic Church, we ended up raising our children in a very non-denominational kind of way.
My husband would attend Christian services from time to time, but I generally drifted from the church and began to worship in what most people would describe in a pagan way. I still pray, and frankly, I aspire to be Christ-like. I mean, who could ever say that the teachings of Christ are anything other than inspired? But as far as the hypocrisy shoved down my throat as a kid, and the politics of organized religion, I found myself no longer identifying with the church and given the corruption of holy men, pretty much decided to worship the divine in my own way. And to me, nothing makes more sense than to see the divine in all aspects of nature and to aspire to live an honest life based on the enlightened lives of those who serve(d) as an example.
It was at this time in 2001 that I stumbled upon the Universal Life Church, who for no fee at all, ordained me as a non-denominational minister allowing me to legally marry individuals who have their own way of thinking about God and the universe and want to celebrate and legalize their love for each other in a way true to themselves.
I kept it a secret, because I thought people would give me a hard time about it. But I take the role seriously, and would like nothing more than to marry couples who want their ceremony to resonate with their own spirituality.
My marriage broke up because we are flawed people and couldn't see our way to keeping our lives together. Should humans stay married until the end of their natural lives? I think it's something we should aspire to. But because we are human we are not ourselves divine and we make mistakes.
Having said that, should we be allowed to remarry after a failed marriage, without judgement and shame? Yes, I think so. Ending a marriage is no casual thing and we learn a great deal. If we are lucky enough to find love with another human being we need to forgive ourselves and our exes, and get on with the act of living and loving.
Good luck and many blessings to Stephen and his new wife Marnie.
And in 2011, one of my resolutions is that I aspire to marry at least one couple!
Happy New Year and New Life to One and All!
No comments:
Post a Comment