American Spirituality

The Saturday (January 8, 2011), New York Times ran an article that compels me to write. Titled, Religion and Representation, it was written by Charles M. Blow.

In it, he points out that a full 16.1% of the American population is non-religious. They are not necessarily non-spiritual, or without some religious connections, but they are not affiliated with any established church organization and consequently, are unrepresented by Congress.

It resonates with me because 16.1% of the nearly 312,000,000 of the US population is a lot of people to have no representation, (about 4,9920,000 people) and I am one of them.

For a politician, being without a brick and mortar established church/synagogue/place of worship is like a political kiss of death. And even so, if it isn't the 'right' religion, they'll always have some explaining to do. Politicians don't necessarily believe in their affiliations, but they are smart enough to know they'd better have one and it better be the most politically correct one. Consequently, the 16.1% of us without a brick and mortar church are a huge minority whose lives are imposed upon by people with religious/political agendas. That's nothing new, and has been going on since forever.

In example, by modifying history, men in powerful positions took the opportunity to remove the blame of Christ's death from the Romans, who clearly killed Christ, to start a hatred of Jews trend which persists to present day. Once they gained power by 'owning' Christianity, they manipulated the masses to follow by associating the details of Christ's birth with pagan ideas and celebrations which were just too popular to shake. Hence, the virgin birth and coinciding the birth during the huge winter festivals of the pagans. Isn't it known that Christ was born in April? Even King Henry VIII killed two wives for bogus reasons to avoid falling from grace with the new branch of Protestantism that he himself invented to justify getting rid of his first wife when he couldn't because of religion. I mean, come on people, hasn't anyone noticed that Jesus ran around with a woman named Mary Magdalene, with whom he was probably intimate? She was his most intimate apostle. But somehow, through history, her power (as a woman) had to be denied by the church, and she suddenly became a whore? I don't really think that Christ would appreciate how people celebrate and observe his life, and I think he'd be appalled by the get ups worn by the Pope.

My gut instinct, even as a kid, told me that Judas was an historical patsy. I never believed he betrayed Christ. It came from a gut belief, maybe you can call it faith.

I was raised in a strict Roman Catholic upbringing including Catholic school for three years. By the first or second grade, I remember thinking, how does anybody believe this stuff? But the defining moment when I knew I fell from grace so to speak, was when I was taught that if I didn't follow Jesus I would burn in hell. What if I was born on a desert island and never heard of him? How could I burn in hell for that? It just didn't make sense. Ok, maybe it was due to the whacko nuns at that particular parochial school, but I don't think my Catholic school experience is atypical. And honestly, there are some really strange extremist protestants and muslims out there as well. And don't even get me started about pedaphile clergy members of all faiths.

People will argue that their belief in religious dogma is based on their faith.  Which is fine, but my own faith based on my own perception is no less valid. Nor is the faith of the 16.1% of Americans who have become disenfranchised from mainstream religions less valid.

Why do so many of us tolerate religious discussion in Congress, (Representative Steve King of Iowa who justifies his views on healthcare based on what God would want) or allow our tax dollars to be spent arguing evolution vs creationsism in public schools? Isn't that what religious schools and homeschooling are for?

We lack representation because those of us who tend to live and let live, are so liberal that we allow other people to deny us our own decision making as well as our own credibility and being heard. (When my former husband and I decided to get married, we wanted to be married at the beach. But the Catholic Church, where I agreed to be married to appease my parents, would not recognize our marriage if we were married outdoors, even if we were married by a priest. So we had to compromise our wishes and settled on being photographed on the beach as newlyweds instead.) Why is that ok?

For that and many other reasons, I no longer follow the faith of my upbringing and until recently, I've kept my own personal religious beliefs private. I have been guilty of worshipping in my own closet and not being vocal about it. And this is exactly why I and the 16.1% of other spiritual yet non-religious Americans have given away our power and rights as citizens and have no representation in our own country.

I cringe everytime one of my facebook friends post things like, "Repost this if you think Jesus is our lord and savior." I never respond either way. It's what they believe, and that's fine. But some of them are the same friends who chuckle or worry when they learn that I am pursuing a path as an ordained wedding celebrant, because they cannot accept that the only dogma of my faith is to believe and worship the way I want to, so long as it harms no one.

Why am I the strange one?

Here is my one little voice for whoever happens upon it. I hope the other 16.1% speak up too, and soon.

The Best is Yet to Come

When my ex-husband told our kids he was getting remarried, it prompted my practical jokester son to suggest to my ex that I officiate his wedding to his fiancee. Naturally, my ex and his fiancee declined on his offer, but it did bring to the forefront that I am indeed an ordained minister who can legally marry couples in NJ and  any state in the US. It's a little secret I've kept to myself since Aug. 3, 2001. I have never officiated anyone's marriage, but I like the idea that I can and I know that I would do a bangup job if given the opportunity.

Back in 2001, the year my own father died, I was struggling to understand my own spirituality. I was raised in a strict Roman Catholic upbringing. My husband wasn't Catholic and although we married in the Catholic Church, we ended up raising our children in a very non-denominational kind of way.

My husband would attend Christian services from time to time, but I generally drifted from the church and began to worship in what most people would describe in a pagan way. I still pray, and frankly, I aspire to be Christ-like. I mean, who could ever say that the teachings of Christ are anything other than inspired? But as far as the hypocrisy shoved down my throat as a kid, and the politics of organized religion, I found myself no longer identifying with the church and given the corruption of holy men, pretty much decided to worship the divine in my own way. And to me, nothing makes more sense than to see the divine in all aspects of nature and to aspire to live an honest life based on the enlightened lives of those who serve(d) as an example. 

It was at this time in 2001 that I stumbled upon the Universal Life Church, who for no fee at all, ordained me as a non-denominational minister allowing me to legally marry individuals who have their own way of thinking about God and the universe and want to celebrate and legalize their love for each other in a way true to themselves.

I kept it a secret, because I thought people would give me a hard time about it. But I take the role seriously, and would like nothing more than to marry couples who want their ceremony to resonate with their own spirituality.

My marriage broke up because we are flawed people and couldn't see our way to keeping our lives together. Should humans stay married until the end of their natural lives? I think it's something we should aspire to. But because we are human we are not ourselves divine and we make mistakes.

Having said that, should we be allowed to remarry after a failed marriage, without judgement and shame? Yes, I think so. Ending a marriage is no casual thing and we learn a great deal. If we are lucky enough to find love with another human being we need to forgive ourselves and our exes, and get on with the act of living and loving.

Good luck and many blessings to Stephen and his new wife Marnie.

And in 2011, one of my resolutions is that I aspire to marry at least one couple!

Happy New Year and New Life to One and All!